Positively Negative, Or, Press And Marketing Oxymorons

'Well, I've never been one for positive thinking. I prefer to see clearly when drowning or sinking.'

'So you've seen the latest from Press and Marketing?'

'Of course. I'm an avid follower of its erudite emailing.'

'So, according to them (it), we should look on the bright side. Life's a roller-coaster, an up-and-down ride. But ignore the 'downs', it's the 'ups' that matter.'

'The problem with contentment is one tends to get fatter.'

'I thought it was comfort-eating that made you put on weight. Couch-potato, watching TV, eating chocolate, very late.'

'You get fat if you eat too much; your state of mind doesn't count.'

Pause.

'So, let us return to the missive in hand.'

'Have you noticed how banal these people are; how powerful, yet bland?'

'Yes, of course, but let's analyse just exactly what they're saying.'

'What they're saying is this: it's your wage that they're paying, and they won't carry on if you don't play by the book.'

'So, they've got us by the balls, like a fish on a hook?'

'And, positive thinking, well it only ends in sadness.'

'Yes, while our PL endorses it, I think it's close to madness.'

'I agree with what you say, and I've been doing some reading. It's apparent, it would seem, that depression's down to breeding. It's the innately positive-thinking that succumb to the disease. According to new research, the negative amongst us are generally better at ease. The people who think that everything should always be bright are the ones who get ill when all things are not right.'

'Likewise, the ones who expect the worst can only be impressed by the fact that life has high points despite the fact that it's a mess.'


In anticipation of reading Oliver Burkeman, 2012, The Antidote: Happiness For People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking, Edinburgh: Canongate