Monday 28 November 2011

Taxonomy of Spirit Manifestations: The Shadow



The Shadow.  Dracula didn't have one.  Neither, according to Sam Taylor-Wood, did Bram Stoker's chair.  Fred Flintstone had a six o'clock one, and then there's all that stuff about Plato's cave.

Sunday 27 November 2011

Taxonomy of Spirit Manifestations: Spirit Photography



The only given in life is that we die.    


But, three cheers to photography for providing indisputable proof that the spirit lives on. 


Saturday 26 November 2011

Reasons To Go 0.6 (Part Five)

The Written Assessment




She said: 'Where to start?  That's always the problem.  Personally speaking, I'm no fan of the historical survey or theoretical stratagem.  Memory's selective, the omissions always glaring. That said, it's what you leave out, not put in, that's always more interesting. But, please, mark my words - you must provide a context.  Can't expect critical analysis if one doesn't know the circumstances.  Are you listening?' she suddenly demanded.  'You should probably write this down.


'Another thing', she added,  'and this is important.  I maintain it's not possible to separate structure from content.   If I can refer you to the Written Assessment Manual (new edition), you'll see that 'signposting' is essential.  Make clear what you're saying; you don't want to be misconstrued. Let the sentences, the paragraphs, the episodes flow; whether enumerative, additive or - even - constructive.  Aim for integrity and precision, don't try to be clever.  The point is this: the prose must be persuasive, seductive, concise, not evasive.  I trust I don't need to remind you about split infinitives?


'I generally find a pertinent quotation is the best way to start.  Get the show on the road and the horse before the cart.  But remember to source the author you've decided to reference.  Harvard is the method we prefer for citations.  And, don't forget, plagiarism is an academic offence.  It's stealing, and it's wrong.  Acknowledge that person who has succeeded in articulating what you've been trying, and failing, to say for so long.'


'We must leave it there,' interrupted the mental health nurse.  'When I've written up the notes from your assessment, I'll send you the transcript.  The same one I'll put to the Psychology Department, to see if you're fit for intensive therapy.'


(Photo: Mike Berry)






Friday 25 November 2011

Taxonomy of Spirit Manifestations: Channelling an Artist


A parallel universe: word has it there are artists who have passed (died, deceased, call it what you will) who still feel compelled to practise, channelling their painterly prowess through the pencils and palettes of artistically-uninitiated mediums.  For some reason, Toulouse-Lautrec, always already slightly off-the-wall chose a plasterer in Brighton and a living-room wall to show-case his latest creation.

Reasons To Go 0.6 (Part Four)



Formative Assessment (Multiple Choice)

William Henry Fox Talbot (1800-77) used a very small wooden box with a lens, crafted by his joiner, to make his very small negative of the lattice window at Lacock Abbey, Wiltshire.

What did Talbot's wife call this early camera?

A. Mousetrap
B. Catflap
C. Kitten-sized Cat Litter Tray

Wednesday 23 November 2011

Reasons To Go 0.6 (Part Three)



Horses for Courses:

'I've made a decision.  The decision is this.  I am not able, not willing to run that old horse.'
'But it's not an old horse.  It's only just validated.  A horse you helped write, let me remind you.'
'Even so,' she replied, now chomping at the bit and hoofing the turf, 'I'm neither ready nor happy to flog a dead horse.'
'Are you deaf?' said the horse-breaker, nostrils flaring and shaking his mane. 'Or just stubborn as an ass?  This horse is not dead. It's a champion horse, a pedigree horse.  A veritable stud.  It is yet to recruit, of course, but that's neither my fault, nor that of the horse.  It wasn't we who made a pig's ear of advertising it in time for the new academic year.  Running around like headless chickens once the error was realised.'
'No point in that', she replied.  'Shutting the stable door when the horse has already bolted.  Out of curiosity and just for the record, were you by any chance born in a barn? I'd wager you were. You have a habit of not closing doors when you leave, you see.'
'Be careful, madam, you should start to watch your back.  Never look a gift horse in the mouth, that's what they say and, if you don't jump when I tell you to, you'll be the first to fall; with the imminent redundancies, departmental re-structurings and all.'
'I see your point, appreciate your need to take the reigns, whip us all into shape.  But wouldn't it be better to sack those who are long in the tooth? Put them out to graze rather than a young filly like me?'

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Reasons To Go 0.6 (Part Two)


She was tired of not being taken seriously.  Take today.  When asked to suggest the criteria for selecting prospective students, she stated her plan accordingly: up-front as ever and with her usual temerity. Would-be photographers must place their portfolios in the corner of the studio before entering the darkroom.  When she began playing 'Like a Rolling Stone' the students should move - as best they could - under the warm-red glow of the safety lights.  The institution has 26 hand-held developing tanks; any candidate left standing but not embracing the aforesaid equipment when the music stopped would be immediately eliminated and told to go home (not forgetting to claim previously discarded portfolio en route).  A flawless plan, and surely no more arbitrary than the current system of offering a place to anyone who might name a photographer, alive or dead, operating since 1839. Moreover, at least her way - the Developing-Tank Way - would ensure the programme meet its annual target number.  The original method had never guaranteed this.

So, why was her scheme not unanimously endorsed and adopted?


As Seen On eBay (or, What's It All Really Worth?)

Lined Linen Jacket, Boden, Size 14.  Friday 18 November 2011.  £21.24 excluding P&P

Saturday 12 November 2011

Reasons To Go 0.6 (Part One)

'Was too busy and bored,' she said with disgust,
'With all that I should do and all that I must'.
'I'm tired of being interested'.

Tuesday 8 November 2011

Ossified

Suddenly, she felt fully alive: not ossified.  In addition, lack of ambition ensured she would never be cast in plaster, nor bust-ified.

Sunday 6 November 2011

The Shadow Stage (2): We Rock

My First Success (After Julia Margaret Cameron, 1815-79)

Or, more accurately, historically, the trial run of her first-ever scanner, done by somebody else.  A success, nevertheless, not lessened by the fact that another pressed the button.