The Sub-Editor - Paradise Place

PARADISE PLACE

She said:

'You saw me as I walked towards you; you, standing there on the bridge.  I saw you, too, and I envied you. You stood so tall and you had it all. You lived your life to the full.'

She said:

'And me, I have the summer and spring. Autumn and winter are cold. I'm told I, too, should live to the full. But, just give me the underworld.'

The Sub-Editor - Web

WEB

She said:

'Many suitors came and asked for my hand. I carried on weaving by day. At night, in the dark, I unpicked what I'd woven.  Clandestine work that could not be proven.

I said, of course, my hand could be won; as soon as my shroud was finished, was spun.  I would carry on weaving until it was done.  The web of deceit had begun.'

The Sub-Editor - Elsewhere

ELSEWHERE

I didn't leave her the night I left England.

But, when I wasn't with her, I was in another country.

The Sub-Editor - Bong-Tree

BONG-TREE

She said:

'So, we sailed away for a year and a day to the land where the Bong-tree grows. . .'

She said: 

'Yes, we went to sea, just you and me, to a place that no one else knows.'  

She rolled onto her tummy and turned her head towards mine.  She whispered in my ear:

'A magical land inhabited by trees that stood like fat old gentlemen, their wide girths bulging and their fingers gnarled and curled.  And ancient rocks with pebbles and pockets that we climbed up and sat on to eat. And herds of deer that moved like shadows.  And a castle with turrets and fairy-tale towers. And a river that shone in the sun like silver.

'At night, we laid down next to each other, cocooned in our sleeping bags but still together.  

'And we smoked as we stared at the stars.'

She said:

'I was never happier than in that place. I had all that I wanted and needed.' 

The Sub-Editor - Tears

TEARS

I knew we should be together from the moment that we met. It sounds fantastic, stupid, romantic, but I couldn't get the thought - get her - out of my head.

As we lay together with the TV on mute we let the tips of our fingers touch, and our toes as well. No clinging or grasping, no suffocating. Her skin was soft and her stomach flat. Her hair was long and messy. In the night it looked black.

She exuded love, but seemed not to assume or expect to get it back.

She told me a story; 'let me tell you a tale', she said with a smile.  Her camera lay under the pillow.

'There was this small child, a girl, who every time she said want she wanted, something catastrophic happened. Or, perhaps, if she ventured to say how she felt, then someone always felt it more dramatically than her.

'So, she decided never to say what she wanted. She learned to keep her feelings to herself. As she grew older she became even more superstitious and refused to acknowledge, even in her thoughts, her fears and ambivalence. Instead, she became the mistress of bad faith.

'But, then, one day she met someone she wanted. She met him the day he was going away. She wanted to say "don't go, please stay" but the words got stuck in her throat.'

I asked her why she carried a camera. She laughed and said it was so she could remember. She said she used it to describe how she felt; in the moment, before she re-wrote it into something else, something that didn't hurt.

'If I took a picture now' she said,  'it would be seen through tears.'

The Sub-Editor - Ibis

IBIS

The night before I left England, I slept in an Ibis.

I ate in its diner and sat in its bar.

I knew from before it was easy to score; when people go travelling they are looking for more than their home life is prepared to afford them.

The bath-towels were white and soft; the bed-linen cool and white. We shared a bottle of cheap red wine and left the TV on all night.

I didn't expect her to be carrying a camera.

In fact, I didn't expect her at all.

I miss her.

The Sub-Editor - Who's Talking Now?

WHO'S TALKING NOW?

Don't think, for a minute, that because you say it's true anyone else would necessarily agree with you.

Yes, of course, you can produce evidence (for pretty much anything) but, when all's said and done, what does any of it mean?